From a comment;
I know a lot of you enjoy drinking, it’s a fun activity, you do it to be social. I want to beg something of all of you. I know a lot of you enjoy drinking, it’s a fun activity, you do it to be social. But- it’s something you need to be responsible about, not just for yourself, but for whoever’s doing it with you.
I want to tell you about a boy I know. He went to his friends for shabbos, and Friday night they headed over to the house of a gevir who’s known to have an open bar, fully stocked, as much as you want. This boy drank- nothing crazy, not too much. He went downstairs pretty early to go to sleep. His friends saw him later that night, flat on his back, snoring away. They left him alone, and a little while on, woke up again to see that something was seriously wrong. I don’t know exactly what- was he gagging? Choking? Throwing up? I don’t know. They called Hatzalah, but by the time they came it was too late- this 26-year-old guy, single, his whole life ahead of him, was dead. Because he choked to death on his back. Tonight, his family is sobbing their eyes out. They’re brokenhearted. His 7 brothers, his 3 sisters, they can’t believe it’s true and they’re just beginning to grasp the fact that they’ll never be a whole family again.
And his mother- she’s practically collapsing. She can’t understand how this is happening. Why his friends let this happen. How they left him alone when one little thing would have saved him. How do I know this story? Because it’s my brother. Ari Levin. I’m the one watching my brothers fall apart as they try to grasp that they’re never going to hug Ari again. They’re crying about how they regret they didn’t get to say goodbye, they’re wishing they could tell him how much they love him, they’re sobbing it to each other and holding on to each other desperately. I know my dear brother Ari died for a reason, even if I don’t know what that reason was. I know it was Hashem’s plan and that if it happened, this is what He meant to happen. But- I also know that right now, his friends are feeling overwhelming guilt. They’re feeling that if they had just watched over him a little better, turned him on his side, he wouldn’t have died this way. They wouldn’t have to face my parents at the levaya tomorrow, knowing that they could have done something about his death.
And my parents are wishing they’d known about Ari’s plans for the night, they would have begged him not to go. Go know that you could drink the same amount you always do but this time it’s going to go wrong. So I’m begging you guys, as a brokenhearted sister, as a future wife and mother- if you’re going to drink, please be more responsible. Know your limits, but know your friends’ as well. Watch over them and try to make sure they’re as safe as possible. Know what’s safe and what’s not. Please. The life you save could be your own.
******
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נהרדעא- Each one wants to outdo his peers in the costly brands and in the quantity of an assortment of the "finest".
Then they want to outdo each other in how much liquor they could hold.
They can't afford it, but they have peer pressure.
They go to various kidushim to make li'chaim on the chazon Ish's shiur.
It affects their stability at home, affects the wife and children.
Sure, they have daily pressure, but, this? We all do.
Are "kidush clubs" the only issue? NO
Drugs are just as a serious problem, with very tragic results.
They go to various kidushim to make li'chaim on the chazon Ish's shiur.
It affects their stability at home, affects the wife and children.
Sure, they have daily pressure, but, this? We all do.
Are "kidush clubs" the only issue? NO
Drugs are just as a serious problem, with very tragic results.
I regret saying this, but my letter was sent to 4 Jewish publications before the summer, and unfortunately, it was ignored. I have since updated it to reflect new information (from as recent as last night), and humbly request it be published for the sake of saving lives.
ReplyDeleteParents sending their boys to summer camps in the Catskills may think their boys are safe, but they aren’t.
No, I am not referring to pedophilia. That problem has Boruch Hashem been dealt with by organizations such as Amudim and the Gedolim behind them who devote their lives to helping the victims.
The topic I want to address is alcohol-drinking in camps. But not just any camps. I am referring to the elite “yeshiva / learning” camps. I have decided to leave the names of these camps out and hope that this letter alone will hopefully awaken the masses.
Please don’t start telling me that this is a minor percentage, because it’s not. This is a roaring problem that is largely being ignored and not being taken seriously by the people running these camps. I humbly question why the Roshei Yeshiva of these boys allow them to go to any of these camps as it’s no secret regarding the alcohol consumption at these camps. In fact, I have had many conversations with leading Roshei Yeshiva about this, and they just shrug their shoulders.
Just last night a bunch of these camps joined together to go to a well known amusement park. The day was capped off with a concert and a band with singing and dancing. I don’t think your readership needs to see the footage of the drunk boys staggering all over the place, so I’ll hold that for round two – If immediate action isn’t taken.
What are these camp owners waiting for? Do we need a few boys to die of alcohol poisoning before people boycott these camps? Why is the “zero tolerance for a smartphone” enforced but the drinking epidemic being ignored?
I should add (not that it makes any difference) that I am not referring to drinking beer. I am talking about bottles of hard liquor that the boys have stashed away.
I am demanding that the camps take action before I and others like myself take appropriate action to ensure the problem is dealt with another way. We will make sure your camps are (legally) exposed and blacklisted by every single family in America.
Thank you for publishing my letter, and I am sorry for being so harsh, but the reality demands this.
Have a wonderful and safe summer.
Yeshaya Dovid Braunstein – Lakewood
we all know that it’s a very serious problem, and we also know that the situation is only getting worse every year.
ReplyDeletePart of the solution might be… If only ALL camp owners/directors/head counselors, camp staff, etc. would send home every single boy or girl (yes, girls have this problem too) who are found drunk, or any amount of alcohol found in their possession, it would stop immediately. This drinking problem would then have to stop at once much sooner than you think because of the harsh consequences. The real problem is that they get away with it…
As of today all camps must adopt a “zero tolerance for drinking/drugs” policy, Just ONE strike and YOU are OUT for good, you may NEVER come back to this camp, not as a camper and not as a staff member. You are blacklisted for life because of your own actions.
To Reb Yeshaya Dovid Braunstein – Lakewood, I applaud you for your wonderful letter and it should be taken seriously by camp owners and all parents alike. Thank you for speaking the truth, but the truth, and the truth only. Remember- you probably saved many lives with this post. Perhaps you next letter should be about the drug problem.
YD Braunstein, you are 100% correct and on target. You are even underestimating how bad the problem is. It is rampant. Young Mesivta boys, even 9th and 10th graders, drink hard alcohol in the Mesivta camps every single Shabbos. Their focus is how to sneak in, how to get friendly with the older Bochurim, Madrichim, Staff members, just so they can get alcohol on Shabbos.
ReplyDeleteThere is little to no oversight of a few hundred boys every weekend in camps. It's so sad to see.
I know you threatened to go public about the camps, but I guess you realized that it probably will not affect any of them. The Rebbeim and parents sadly don't care enough, and don't think it's so bad.
You still have a few days to try to get the word out more and warn camps and parents.
May everyone have a safe summer!
It has now become traditional in many "heimish" homes to drink a L'chayim "nooch'in Phish".
ReplyDeleteThat Lechayim used to be "ah bissel Shlio'vitz" and for the "shaineh Yeedin" a bit of Chivas.
Now its become single malt stuff from the "BACK" and "locked up" special Scotch "cellar".
Now "nooch'in Phish" became any party (kiddish, tiken, Chaseneh, Etc).
So how can you blame any of the offspring if by now it is "Minhag Avoi'sai'nee" to drink when you can and how much you can.
Don't blame anyone but "yourself".
Stop drinking period - and the next bunch of kids will MAYBE pick up the message.
In the secular world drinking is a end for itself. They go out to get drunk. The trend has crept in a bit to "inzereh heimish breedeh". Nebach.
What took soooooooooo long to bring this up?
ReplyDeleteThis is been going on for at least a DECADE if not longer.
Especially at Weddings, even if there is no liquor at all the "tantz Masmidim" (meaning the friends of the Choson - EVEN the VERY GOOD bochrim) BUY and BRING their own 1.75L bottles as much as 3 to 4 bottles that I see at almost at EVERY Chaseneh.
This problem has been well known and all were very aware of it.
It seems that now some Asken or so's relative or child got hurt or something like that.
Now their starting to make noise.
A bit too little and a lot too late.
אזוי ווי עס קריסטעלט זיך, אזוי אידישט זיך
ReplyDeleteIn most countries of the world, mild drinking is not looked down on. Only in America is alcohol considered a vice.
That is an American mindset, not a Jewish one.
We Jews consider alcohol fine in moderation. If the father drinks a lechayim after the fish, his children see that alcohol is something to be enjoyed in moderation, and he won't see it as something he has to get his hands on.
Stop treating alcohol like something exotic and dangerous and exciting, stop trying to forbid it totally, that method never works.
It’s a different world now, my friend. You used to be right. What kids learned at home was how they would behave outside the home. And the Yeshivos were safe havens - places for learning, not for drinking. Sadly now the yeshivos/camps are unsafe. Kids learn bad behaviors from their peers. The Roshei Yeshiva don’t have control. Fact.
DeleteI know a lot of you enjoy drinking, it’s a fun activity, you do it to be social.
ReplyDeleteI want to beg something of all of you. I know a lot of you enjoy drinking, it’s a fun activity, you do it to be social. But- it’s something you need to be responsible about, not just for yourself, but for whoever’s doing it with you. I want to tell you about a boy I know. He went to his friends for shabbos, and Friday night they headed over to the house of a gevir who’s known to have an open bar, fully stocked, as much as you want.
This boy drank- nothing crazy, not too much. He went downstairs pretty early to go to sleep. His friends saw him later that night, flat on his back, snoring away. They left him alone, and a little while on, woke up again to see that something was seriously wrong. I don’t know exactly what- was he gagging? Choking? Throwing up? I don’t know.
They called Hatzalah, but by the time they came it was too late- this 26-year-old guy, single, his whole life ahead of him, was dead. Because he choked to death on his back. Tonight, his family is sobbing their eyes out. They’re brokenhearted. His 7 brothers, his 3 sisters, they can’t believe it’s true and they’re just beginning to grasp the fact that they’ll never be a whole family again. And his mother- she’s practically collapsing. She can’t understand how this is happening. Why his friends let this happen. How they left him alone when one little thing would have saved him.
How do I know this story? Because it’s my brother. Ari Levin. I’m the one watching my brothers fall apart as they try to grasp that they’re never going to hug Ari again. They’re crying about how they regret they didn’t get to say goodbye, they’re wishing they could tell him how much they love him, they’re sobbing it to each other and holding on to each other desperately.
I know my dear brother Ari died for a reason, even if I don’t know what that reason was. I know it was Hashem’s plan and that if it happened, this is what He meant to happen. But- I also know that right now, his friends are feeling overwhelming guilt. They’re feeling that if they had just watched over him a little better, turned him on his side, he wouldn’t have died this way. They wouldn’t have to face my parents at the levaya tomorrow, knowing that they could have done something about his death. And my parents are wishing they’d known about Ari’s plans for the night, they would have begged him not to go. Go know that you could drink the same amount you always do but this time it’s going to go wrong.
So I’m begging you guys, as a brokenhearted sister, as a future wife and mother- if you’re going to drink, please be more responsible. Know your limits, but know your friends’ as well. Watch over them and try to make sure they’re as safe as possible. Know what’s safe and what’s not. Please. The life you save could be your own.