Monday, September 11, 2023

Timely article on the current DAF

 Sept. 10, 2023

Today's Daf, Shidduch Crisis and Moshiach

Today, like every day, tens of thousands will pore over their Gemara or listen to shiurim on the daily Daf. Today however, they will see a key to change which would better so many lives, in this world and the next. Many will see it, but unfortunately not very many will act on it. This Gemara is no secret, and has been seen by young and old for centuries, but in recent years it seems to have been overlooked.

רב הונא לטעמיה דאמר: בן עשרים שנה ולא נשא אשה כל ימיו בעבירה. בעבירה סלקא דעתך?! אלא

אימא: כל ימיו בהרהור עבירה. אמר רבא, וכן תנא דבי רבי ישמעאל: עד עשרים שנה יושב הקדוש ברוך הוא ומצפה לאדם מתי ישא אשה, כיון שהגיע עשרים ולא נשא, אומר: תיפח עצמותיו

Rav Huna taught that one who is not married by the time he is 20, will live his entire life with sinful thoughts. Rava, as well as Rebbi Yishmael, taught that Hashem Himself waits for one to get married. When he reaches 20 and hasn’t attempted to get married, Hashem says “May his bones swell” (A curse reserved only for those who postpone marriage or for those who deny ).תחיית המתים

This Gemara seems to be overlooked because the Gemara before discusses one who is preoccupied learning Torah and wouldn’t be able to continue his studies after marriage. He therefore is exempt (according to some interpretations) from the age limit of 20. One may think this exempts all Yeshiva students, but the truth is that this exemption only applies to someone who need not be concerned with illicit thoughts. It is for someone on a level higher than almost any of our day bachurim. The average, and even the best of our boys cannot vouch on themselves that they have total control over their Yetzer hora.

This exemption also doesn’t apply to anyone who is going to Kollel or whose wife, parents, or in-laws will support them after marriage. (According to R’ Moshe Feinstein, it doesn’t apply unless one won’t be able to learn Torah even during his set time to learn because of the stresses of work. If however he could set aside some time to learn properly, he wouldn’t be exempt from getting married at this age.)

For all practical purposes, for almost all young men, the correct age for marriage is before they reach 20. This Halacha is codified by the Rambam, Tur, Shulchan Aruch, and accepted by all halachic authorities of all times. This includes the Chafetz Chaim, Aruch Hashulchan, Chazon Ish, R’ Moshe Feinstein and so on.

The connection to the shidduch crisis is quite obvious. If boys were to get married younger the age gap wouldn’t be there. Even if this would cause more boys than girls according to statistics, we should much rather have a “crisis” caused by Hashem and not one which we made ourselves. In the former we can rely on Him, but in the later He relies on us to mend our ways.

But where does Moshiach come in? The Gemara (Niddah 13b) says that one who marries a young girl who is not old enough to bear children delays the coming of Moshiach. This is because Moshiach will only come when all the Neshamos that need to come to this world have already been born. By delaying marriage we are delaying generations from being born which in turn delays the coming of Moshiach.

As the Yom Hadin approaches, perhaps as a people we could aim to get closer to the age Hashem required us to get married. Many projects have been aimed at lowering the age of our boys, but none of them seemed to garner enough steam. Perhaps the only way to achieve this goal is not by throwing money at the problem, or convincing people to do it for the sake of fixing a crisis. We need to simply realize how detrimental it is for young men to not be in a marriage at this age. They will inevitably deteriorate spiritually and suffer with sinful thoughts for the rest of their life.

The Mahrsha comments on today's Gemara that one who isn’t married by 20 gets the not-so honorable title of .רשעThe Medrash in Koheles says that those that delay marriage are worthy of .מיתה בידי שמים

This is a serious issue, and before the Yom Hadin it is worth examining.

נחפשה דרכינו ונחקרה ונשובה עד ה'

23 comments:

  1. Fair enough
    BTAIM the age gap is mostly a myth.Has been for a while
    cf .article in Ami

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  2. All of the real Gedoilim of Klal Yisroel came out against the Freezer, also against the age when Bochurim start shiduchim in America.

    ReplyDelete
  3. FYI:

    - Sept 11 Kol mevaser interview with R' Avrohom Fishel Gotteles a baal teshuva he relayed that on 9-11 23 elul he was davening by a chabad shul in Tenafly, NJ and it was selichos he had just managed to make the minyan as the tenth man he had a early appointment at the word trade center for 9am he wanted to leave early but the rabbi handed him a thick selichos book and when he tried leaving he told him there's a reason why hashem wanted you to be here to be the tenth man as there was no eleventh man showing up. his life was saved by staying until the end of davening.

    WOW.

    Here comes the surprise.
    Who is the Rabbi and owner of Chabad tenefly ??

    Here we go:

    Rabbi & Executive Director
    Rabbi Mordechai Shain

    Horav Hagoon Reb Yudel's Shit'a Nephew.
    The moihel's kid.
    Eli Shain is not really Lubavitch. He just put on the levoosh for the meelah business

    ReplyDelete
  4. "It is for someone on a level higher than almost any of our day bachurim. The average, and even the best of our boys cannot vouch on themselves that they have total control over their Yetzer hora."

    Says who ??
    Obviously you didn't do Adireinu. Our boys beat all and every nissayon.
    And if you want to get technical boys -and girls- should already be married by 18 as the mishneh is quite explicit aout this. You can't only apply 1/2 of the halachas because it fit your agenda or ego or whatever..

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  5. When Gefen first came out with imitation chicken soup cups, there were bug problems. The cups are shvache paper. I'm not an expert but it seemed that bugs were perhaps boring into the cups from the outside as well as possibly hatching inside & boring their way out. Gefen fixed this problem, which was quite shecheeach, by shrink wrapping the cups in plastic. The plastic shield seems to both attract less bugs from outside & possibly kill off bug eggs-larvae inside from lack of oxygen.

    Nassau Provisions has come out now with competing soup cups. They are not in plastic and at first glance at least some of the cups have signs of possible infestation of bugs that have since departed the cups. Badatz Tartikov & OU need to get with it.

    Whenever the OU are criticized on these pages, their toadies come out in full force to argue there's no there, there. Why don't you guys, instead of covering up, use your formidable energies to get your org to fix the problems?

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  6. https://newjerseymonitor.com/2023/09/06/ruling-in-orthodox-jew-divorce-dispute-is-a-win-for-free-speech-and-womens-rights-advocates-say/

    A bunch of low lives have petitioned the NJ Appellate Court who overturned lower court rulings. This paves the way for the militant Femineesta movement to harass their way to all kinds of gittin meusos.

    Shalom Task Force has now become an organ of ORA which is apparent from the trial & from STF advertising it on their own website. Consider how Shalom Task FARCE has long been endorsed by the following: avaddeh the Filthy Philly Kamenetskys, YU's David Pelcovitz & Dovid Willig, Dovid Cohen of Gvul Yaabetz, MTJ's Reuven Feinstein, Dovid Goldwasser, Queens Vaad Av Beis Din Peretz "the sheretz" Steinberg (a Mendel Epstein collaborator), OU's Tzvi Hersh Weinreb, etc.

    https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/headlines-breaking-stories/326989/give-yourself-and-your-spouse-the-gift-of-shalom-bayis-happy-couples-are-talking-about-shalom-workshop.html

    Shockingly, BMG's R' Matis Salamon has also endorsed them. Someone should run to the Mashgiach to explain to him what's happened so he can publicly withdraw his endorsement (touted by Eckstein's YWN) to spare himself any further bizayon!

    https://www.linkedin.com/in/dan-shevitz-39a4ba35

    Testifying in NJ for the Femineestas is "rabbi" Dan Shevitz, the head of the California Conservative "Bet Din"!

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Crown Hts Shain is 'Old School' Lubavitch. That is not embarassing as the old school is into learning & not Meshichist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The old school was at odds with the Rosh hayeshivah to say the least

      Delete
  8. Mon Sep 11, 01:36:00 PM 2023

    Makes assumptions and then blames all hashgachas. Maybe your assuption is just some loshon horah stuff. Also that quote " possibly kill off bug eggs-larvae inside from lack of oxygen." is based on a assuption that dead larvae is OK. If it ain't kosher while alive is ain't kosher while dead.
    This is what happens when 'tumlers and terrorists' get involved in anything especially kashrus issues that the OU knows a million times more the these egoists.

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  9. Wow.
    Such great mitzvos in order to come into rosh HaShanah confident and sure that he won't need Yom kippor. Yom Kippur is only for the bainonim who didn't quite get a decision on Rosh Hashanah. But the Zadikim, such as our quick mitzvah earners posters went out of Rosh HaShanah with a L'chayim decision thus no need for yom kippur.
    Who ever figured that these mutar loshon Horah yakkers can earn free 9 days to yak some more endless mutar loshon horah.
    The gedolim in eretz yisroel should be contacted if these mutar loshon horah yakkers have to fast on yom kippur since its b'chlal not nogaiah to them. Please note that these shvereh grubbeh shayles can only be presented to the PnP gedolim who did NOT get a special oral shower.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sobelsohn PlaygroundMon Sep 11, 05:07:00 PM 2023

    "what happens when 'tumlers and terrorists' get involved in anything"

    Has the mechaber of that outburst (& the next outburst 10 minutes later), aka 'You Know Who', looked in the mirror?

    If there EVER was a tummler & internet terrorist alein ...

    Meanwhile it's good to see that readers & commenters are seeing the light regarding 'You Know Who"'s favorite inadequate shgoochos.

    There are ways that larva can be mutter, but why present any facts that prevent 'You Know Who' from savaging an OU critic and savaging someone who criticized a Queens Vaad honcho involved in Mendel Epstein's shakedowns?

    A larva smaller than a third of a millimeter is mutter (unlike his "Pick n Pay poskim" OU allowing huge bugs alongside Itzu Glick)

    Under the right circumstances in a vaccuum pack, a larva could get brittle & fall apart. "Maybe, maybe" it could even get all the moisture sucked out which is a type of evisceration which is also mutter. It's as if it has no kishkas. (That could also explain what's between the ears of etlicher pro-OU fanatics)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yet another treif initiative that Philly has been immersed in. Can't wait for Sholom Kamenetsky's Shabbos Shuvah droshah! He's got a lot of material to draw from that you won't hear anywhere else

    https://shalomtaskforce.org/project-kehillah

    Partners

    ORA

    https://shalomtaskforce.org/legal-services

    provides services to anyone regardless of sexual orientation

    ReplyDelete
  12. Why don't we make ORA & Shalom Task Force into official Agudah divisions already lichvoid future Moetzes member Sholom? We have to get our inyanei toieveh specialist Yehiel Kalish on the case.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Shalom K. says he will instruct the art of Karate to all the members of Moetzes, mamash a kidush Hashem, so no one will push them around.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Here we go once again.
    OU no good
    OK no good
    Star K the lowest
    KCL who are they?
    Itchoo stam a fake
    Any chasisheh name ain’t no hashgacha.

    Agudah no good
    BMG no good (too many frozen avairos there)
    Lubavitch no good they are hooked up with Mashiach
    Chasidim stam ….. except Malachim chasidus.
    Dirshu only for wanna bes
    Learning in general is not needed because we got the PNP Rabbis to justify us
    Shakedowns only good if it’s shine oriented all others are Sheratzim.
    Yeshivas only needed until 18 years old.
    Messi it’s only needed if they have a substantial ‘lo mislabel’ dept.
    And for spare time kosher entertainment Free fresses are preferred if from a non hashgacha vender.

    For more Kabbalah’s in these days contact WC Pope Paulie.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Why do all roshay yeshivos, roshay kollelim, poskim, dayanim, tumlers, terorrist, fressers have to tell BMG what to do. Is it because of their HUGE success is spreading torah around the globe like no other institution (if we don't count YU).
    Is it a ego issue? Is it a jealousy issue ? Is it a hate issue.

    BMG did not ask any of these schvitzers to present their shaylehs to anyone, yet the get much unsolicited advice, pesakim, threats etc. If you don't like their policies you can leave anytime you want and make room for the next genuine talmid.

    This is all a waste of time and energy. All your options are meaning less in this town. no one cares about others opinions yet they let all live peacefully.

    Just sit back and do your thing: learn, teach, tutor, sell matzohs, lulovim, hadasim, esrogim, chicken, meat boards, v'chol menay mahchoolim and all other garbage.

    Live and let live.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Notice that no one said one word about Dirshu until 'You Know Who' dragged them in to bashmutz them. He's the same krummah deyah zugger who while he keeps lecturing R' Yudel all over this blog to not post negative items on people 'You Know Who' wants protected, bifrat with his 'Rosh Hashana is coming' scaremongering, 'You Know Who' nonetheless keeps bashmutzing anyone HE doesn't like

    ReplyDelete
  17. Dirshu must be holier then thou i.e. Agudah etc.

    ReplyDelete
  18. The Dirshu hocker is takkeh an Agudah worshipper.

    He should keep quiet already as he has nothing worthwhile to contribute with his many, many disruptions all over this website from where he furiously types away in the outer outer Boro of NYC.

    At least erev RH & Aseres Ymei Teshuva he should try to be makpid on Syog lChochmo Shesikah

    ReplyDelete
  19. Nebach. Nebach. Nebach.

    Some one is disrupting the FF/Pope tenets.
    Can't take the True heat.
    Uses RoshHashanah/Aseres yemay Teshuvah (Whats that ??) to try to protect his guru's agenda.
    No one feels bad. No one has a guilty conscious.
    The truth is not a disruption.

    No one is asking you to keep quiet. Its best if you plopple and plopple so we know who you are and what you are.

    Thank you for your eloquent comments. The WC Pope is very proud.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sep 14, 2:01 PM was exposed so the best he can do is issue that very childish, lame comeback.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thu Sep 14, 11:06:00 PM 2023

    This is a real sophisticated non-lame "Comeback". Thank you.
    Why don't you do another FF today. You'll feel much better.

    ReplyDelete
  22. THERE IS NO SHIDDUCH CRISES

    Hashem already setup your sons and everyone else’s son/daughter zivug 40 days before they were even born. Forget about the fact that now they are holding at around 20 or so years later since they were born. Hashem has their zivug waiting for them and can send it to your son/daughter immediately but is just waiting for each person involved in shidduchim to do their RUCHNIUS hishtadlus of Bitachon and Emunah(faith and trust in Hashem) together with Tefillos/Prayers.

    Mrs. Seminary girl,/Mr. Learning/working boy Are YOU doing your RUCHNIUS hishtadlus? Not just your gashmius hishtadlus of dating and speaking to shadchanim etc….?
    Start turning directly to Hashem for help in all your needs, especially shidduchim that they say is a bigger miracle than the splitting of the Yam suf.

    Why are we not putting our faith and trust directly in our loving father, king of kings, ruler of the world Hashem? Especially when we all know the truth that Hashem has everything down to every person's breath and penny of income already decreed since Rosh Hashanah for the entire upcoming year? Of course we need to do our Hishtadlus but the ultimate secret for success in our needs is to turn Directly to the source Hashem for help in anything.

    ReplyDelete