How and why to forgive

בס"ד

Tamuz 10 5784

Prior to the 8 steps, know:

If you were hurt or harmed by someone and you feel pain or anger, it is 100% validated. Pain is real. If you feel it, you have a good reason for that.  You may think about it and allow yourself to feel the pain for a short while. However, feeding into and holding on to it will cause you more pain and harm in the long run.

The following 8 steps will help you release the pain, so you can be healthy and happy despite the incident that occurred. You will feel lighter once you release the negativity.

 

I urge every member in Klal Yisrael to read the following and follow the steps carefully and fully. 

By following through fully, may you be zoche to all the brachos you need in your life, and greet Mashiach speedily.

 

8 Step Forgiveness Method:

By the time you are done with these 8 steps (about 5-10 minutes) you should be able to release any hurt, pain, & grudges, and forgive the person who caused it.

 

1. Know that Hashem was 100% behind the incident (not the person) for your ultimate benefit.

 

2. We are all a gilgul, a soul who was here before that came back to either forgive someone or ask for forgiveness. Neither soul can get into Gan Eden if one didn't forgive the other.

 

3. Hurt, pain and embarrassment are a kaparah, atonement for sin. In the moment we get hurt, we are fully clean of sin and can pray and get answered for any yeshuah we ask for.

 

4. Love comes from giving.  Try giving to the other person by either praying for them or sending them cards and gifts. The hate will fade away. Why do we love our family? Because we give to them.  If your child hurt you, would you hold onto that hurt? 

 

5. Hurt comes from the ego getting hurt. Ego is a reflection of a false sense of inflated self. You will realize the haughty part of you doesn't allow you to release the hurt. Only a humble person can release a grudge, so work on developing humility.

 

6. We are all humans who make mistakes.   If the person who hurt you didn't mean to hurt you, or is usually kind, then remember that we all have hurt someone in our life by accident. Don't we want them to forgive us?

 

7. It is possible that the person who hurt you suffers from low self-esteem and a lack of self-love or jealousy. Do not personalize things. Rather be aware that it may very well be the person’s own issue and not yours. Develop self-esteem and self-love, and you will be able to easily let things slide off you.

 

8. If all the above didn't help yet, ask yourself: Would I want to spend my entire Olam Habah in the world to come with people who are still holding grudges? Or would I want to be with those special humans who forgave others quickly? Who went above the letter of the law?

 

To immediately get rid of the negative feeling, ask yourself: What is the lesson and benefit to this incident or pain? Once you comprehend the lesson, the negative feeling will quickly leave.

 

" Forgiveness is not surrender. It is VICTORY!

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