R' Yudel. You are very concerned about kashrus, tickets, forgeries, bugs, etc. These are all important topics. I have not seen you address a very serious issue that is plaguing Klal Yisroel and sending our youth off the derech.
There are molesters running about our communities. It is more rampant than you will ever believe. Pressing the Gedolim for better solutions would be very appropriate. How should the perpetrators or Yeshivahs in which abuse occurred compensate their victims and alleviate the cost of therapy? This is a serious issue.
I would be willing to bet that better than 50% of OTD boys are there because of abuse. The kashrus of our children is at stake. Please take up this cause as well.
May 05, 11:42:00 PM
May 05, 11:42:00 PM
Anonymous said...
This is anonymous who wrote the original post. As an abuse victim who has not left the fold I have met other abuse victims.I am distrustful of rabbonim in general as time and again their reaction has been to silence the victims in favor of protecting the perpetrators and their families. How many times has a colleague been shuffled to another yeshiva after allegations were made? I am not saying that all molesters are rabbonim. My molester just happened to be a rebbe.
This is anonymous who wrote the original post. As an abuse victim who has not left the fold I have met other abuse victims.I am distrustful of rabbonim in general as time and again their reaction has been to silence the victims in favor of protecting the perpetrators and their families. How many times has a colleague been shuffled to another yeshiva after allegations were made? I am not saying that all molesters are rabbonim. My molester just happened to be a rebbe.
I found out that he was in another yeshiva before moving to my yeshiva. I am 25 years past my abuse and I am first dealing with the ramifications of the abuse and the effect it has on my family. There is a trickle down effect. So far, I am stuck with the bill for my therapy in the many thousands of dollars. As far as others who I know are victims of molestation, the record is as follows.
One is a cynic, one went OTD and returned albeit a different person than his family, two who are no longer shomer shabbos. Ages are 42, 36, 18, 16. I look normal on the outside. Inside is a different story. Go to a organization like Areivim or any other teen program where drugs amongst formerly frum children is the norm. What pain are they trying to dull? These kids are screaming inside with no relief except for being drunk or high. The oilam is oblivious to this because victims don't talk about their abuse for many reasons. Shame, shidduch, family shame, toughing it out, not wanting to revisit a painful era in their lives, just to name a few. Many lives are devastated by this crime.
The effect is passed through the generations by parental behavior. How many times can a victim klap al-chet for maase toeva? Even though it wasn't any fault of the victim, the guilt remains and eats away at them forever. Al todin ess chavericho ad shetagia l'mkomo. I have walked in those shoes and can never look at a OTD bachur with derision because I don't know about any of his nisyonos.
So, Reb Wolf, as someone who has been there I would bet my lunch that 50% of OTD is linked to some form of abuse. I am one of the "lucky" ones who did not go OTD or come to such pain where suicide or mutilation is a practice or thought. This is a plague and it is wide spread. The gedolim need to come up with ways to flush out the molesters and make sure they are monitored so that they do not have a chance to molest again. The victims need help in order to be able to get therapy.
Most cannot afford ongoing treatment. There needs to be culpability and accountability for the sake of the korbanos that are left in their wake. We are on a slippery slope and the downward slide needs to be stopped or catastrophic damage will be caused to Klal Yisroel which will pale in comparison to the issues of kashrus today. There are other important issues as well. However if molestation of our children is not stopped then there will be no one left who will ever be concerned with Kashrus. The well is poisoned already. We need to prevent any further damage.
May 06, 11:24:00 PM
May 06, 11:24:00 PM
