Monday, May 29, 2023

Marriage with a Narcissist may be difficult or rather impossible. It's important to deal with it, not ignore it.

      In psychology, narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.

      Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a more severe form of narcissism and is classified as a mental condition. People with NPD have an inflated sense of worth and deeply need others' attention and admiration. Still, they’re also likely to be unhappy and disappointed when not given the admiration they think they deserve. Their relationships are often troubled because they consider themselves superior to everyone around them.

A person with NPD may display the following characteristics:

Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration.

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it.

Exaggerate achievements and talents.

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty, or the perfect mate.

Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally remarkable people.

Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior.

Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations.

Take advantage of others to get what they want.

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.

Be envious of others and believe others envy them.

Behave arrogantly or haughtily, coming across as conceited, boastful, and pretentious.

      The causes of NPD aren't well-understood, but like most personality disorders, it's believed to result from a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Early life experiences, such as sensitive temperament, excessive pampering or criticism, trauma, and abuse, may also play a role.

      Regarding remedies and treatment, psychotherapy (talk therapy) is usually the first line of treatment. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can be beneficial, which helps individuals identify unhealthy, negative beliefs and behaviors and replace them with healthy, positive ones. Family therapy, group therapy, and couples therapy can also be helpful.

      Medications aren't typically used to treat NPD, but if the individual has other conditions, such as depression or anxiety, medication might be recommended.

      Living with NPD or being in a relationship with a person who has NPD can be very challenging. Self-care, setting boundaries, seeking support from trusted friends or family members, and professional help, such as therapy or support groups, can be beneficial.

     It's important to note that a qualified mental health professional should diagnose NPD, and the person with the disorder should also seek treatment from a professional. It's not something that someone can diagnose or treat on their own.

Wednesday, May 24, 2023

Star-K Shabbos / Yom Tov Mode appliances- מזיד It's an issur Gumur to use! [only use the OU certified appliances]

The Star-K's shabbos mode appliances are worse than the kosher switch.

Star-K's Shabbos- Mode appliances are ossur to use.


http://matzav.com/clients/matzav/Oven.pdf
It all started a number of years back on "Mesifta-Di'rakiah" [short-wave-radio]. Rabbi Moshe Heineman stated that on Shabbos in a Shul one may "ki'lachar-yad" turn on or off the alarm on shabbos.

A participant stated that he has a magnetic type switch that one can use for the alarm on Shabbos that would be permitted even according to the "Chazon-Ish". An individual asked on the program can one reverse a magnetic polarity on Shabbos....? Star-K's Rabbinic Administrator responded forget the magnetic type switch "the Chazon-Ish is only a DAAS-YOCHID", & do it ki'lacharyad.

The STAR-K also utilizes the light-bulb to accomplish BISHUL-YISROEL.
Reb Shlomo Zalman's comment re: Star-K's light-bulb Bishul yisroel.."one of the main causes of Intermarriage R"L."

Click on letter to enlage!
The Shabbos mode appliances may not be so "shabbos friendly" after all.

Rav Shlomo Miller, Shlita [Toronto-Lakewood] recently publicized a letter re: Shabbos-mode ovens that one may not adjust temperatures on Yom-Tov, contrary to the kosher certification.

In respect to the above publicized letter from Rav Miller, we are not publicizing the name of the kosher certifier.

Others have researched the "Shabbos-friendly" appliances & concluded that according to ALL "Poiskim" it is not permitted to be used in the Shabbos mode. It is more than "Gramahs" that are being activated.
It's a "Bedikah-Di'Mayah", immediate action.




See Star-K link http://www.star-k.org/pdf/oventeshuva.pdf

And therefore you may even decide to use your computer on Yom-Tov without the screen, according to the Star-K.

The SANHEDRIN would have taken up such a case in the context of a ..........
The Star-K's shabbos mode appliances are worse than the kosher switch.

Tuesday, May 23, 2023

Support the Coalition of Jewish Values

 The Department of Education’s proposed changes to Title IX are only the latest salvo in the Left’s ongoing Un-Holy War to enshrine transgender ideology as a state religion. CJV’s public comment pushes back on these changes as an attack on women, Biblical values, and religious freedom.

The Department of Education is trying to rewrite Title IX, the groundbreaking legislation that guaranteed equal opportunity to women and girls. The proposed changes redefine a woman as anyone who “identifies” as female and punish schools that refuse to play along.

A host of prominent pro-values groups, religious and feminist organizations filed public comments opposing this change. Some filed detailed legal arguments reaching dozens of pages.

So what was the role of CJV, and its relatively brief, four-page comment?

In all our work, CJV provides a fundamentally Jewish perspective, one rooted in Torah and guided by millennia of tradition. In this case, CJV’s comment forced the DOE to address an entirely new set of issues—and by law, agencies have to review and address all comments, or face a court challenge if they fail.

CJV argued that the new rules prohibit normative Jewish beliefs and practices, and threaten to exclude religious Jewish students, especially women, from interschool and intercollegiate sports. At a foundational level, the new regulations would establish a new state religion, an ideology at odds with belief systems held by millions of Americans.

The proposed changes equate “gender identity” with sex and codify gender ideology in law. They compel Americans to accept a set of definitions that are nothing more than articles of a new, idolatrous faith, at odds with both the Bible and human biology. As we put it in our comment:

“The regulation would not demand abandonment of Jewish religious standards more clearly if it asserted that the Book of Genesis is null and void.”

Codifying a new state religion, and forcing schools to honor its precepts, is a flagrant violation of the Constitution and the right to freedoms of conscience  and religion enshrined therein.

CJV is a strategic asset not just to the Jewish community, but to every American who cherishes traditional values, and even the right of women to participate and excel in sports. Your generosity enables us to grow and to expand our impact. Please help us today! And please don’t hesitate to reach out for any reason.

Yours sincerely,  Rabbi Yaakov Menken

P.S. Your enthusiasm and financial support will help us put this country on the right path. Please help us as we strengthen our network and work to educate politicians and the media about authentic Jewish values. Give to the CJV today!

The Coalition for Jewish Values (CJV), the largest rabbinic public policy organization in America, articulates and advocates for public policy positions based upon traditional Jewish thought. We stand for traditional family values, religious freedom, and combating anti-Semitism in the United States and around the world.The CJV does not endorse, support, or oppose any candidate for political office or any political campaign. Any mention of public figures herein is purely for informational and educational purposes and should not be interpreted as a statement of electoral support or opposition.

The Coalition for Jewish Values is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, and your donations to the CJV are tax deductible as permitted by law. Please consult your tax advisor regarding any tax deductions.

Monday, May 22, 2023

American Dream-Can we eat at Bravo's Pizza חלב ישראל Pizza?

 Anything requiring Bedikas Toiloy'im should not be used.

One that eats from KCL establishments can surely eat there.

Sunday, May 21, 2023

Brown Rice very infested-Rice cakes and Rice crispies don't have an issue, per Reb Moshe Vaye



 I recently found worms in a bag of brown rice.  I happen to live a few houses away from a leading kashrus expert in Lakewood, and I called the Rav to tell him about the problem. 

He “happened” to be checking brown rice at the time of the phone call (!), and, as he gives checking demonstrations, he offered to show me what is going on with brown rice these days.  

I watched with his wife as he showed brown rice that looked perfectly clean when checked over. Then he put that same rice into a wire mesh colander and gave it a tap over a white plastic plate. What looked like tiny brown dust particles came out onto the plate.

I said, “Ok, it’s tiny shards of chaff.” He said, ”Look again. They’re walking.”  I looked again and, sure enough, they were tiny little bugs, and they were walking!  The Rav said they were lice. With another shake, more came out. Another shake, even more, came out. The Rav said there were thousands of lice in that plastic container of brown rice.  As if that wasn’t bad enough…

I thought it was surely clean when I asked about a certain brand of gourmet rice. The Rav said, “It’s the worst.” He put some gourmet brown rice into the mesh colander and gave it a tap: nothing. Gave it another shake: nothing. Gave it a third tap: and a black weavel came out. Another tap, another black weavel came out.  The Rav said quinoa is a much greater problem and must be shaken out over a plastic plate with a finer mesh strainer.

Brown rice and quinoa infestation seem to be a problem that people should know about.

Thank you and kol tov,

I’m sorry, but I forgot to mention that there is also a recurring infestation problem with dried beans and chickpeas.

(After beans have been soaked in water over night, I put a few (say, 8 to 10) on the palm of my hand and check them, one-by-one - and then flip them to the other palm to check the other side of them, one-by-one.)  I regularly find infested beans - yet so many yirei Shamayim still do not know that beans must be checked!


Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Are the Overnight frum camps ripping off the Tzibur-BIG-TIME

 Dear Editor,

I am writing to express my deep concern and frustration regarding the exorbitant costs associated with frum summer sleep-away camps.

I have witnessed firsthand how these exorbitant fees place an immense financial burden on parents who are already struggling to make ends meet.

The summer camp experience is undoubtedly a cherished and valuable opportunity for children to grow, learn, and create lasting memories. However, it is disheartening to see how these camps are choking many families due to their astronomical price tags. Are these camps simply money-makers? I have no idea. What I do know is that the cost of sending a child to a frum sleep-away camp has reached such heights that it has become nothing short of a financial nightmare for numerous parents.

The implications of this issue extend far beyond mere financial strain. Parents are forced to make difficult decisions, sometimes sacrificing basic necessities or going into debt just to provide their children with this formative experience. The pursuit of this summer experience should not come at the expense of a family’s financial stability, not to mention its impact on the health and wellbeing of the parents and the accompanying stress.

It is essential for the broader frum community to acknowledge and address this problem. While it is true that running a summer camp costs money, the current situation seems to have spiraled out of control. The alleged “escalating costs” should not be disproportionately transferred onto parents, particularly those who are already grappling with financial hardships.

It is high time for camp organizers, community leaders, and relevant stakeholders to come together and find practical solutions to alleviate the burden on parents.

Does it make sense that I am paying for 4 weeks of camp almost as much as I pay for a year of school?

I kindly request that Matzav.com bring attention to this matter through your esteemed website, as I believe it is crucial to shed light on the profound impact these exorbitant costs have on frum families.

Thank you for considering my perspective on this pressing issue. I hope that together, we can strive towards a more inclusive and affordable summer camp experience for all frum children.

Sincerely,

D. B.

New Jersey

Sunday, May 14, 2023

UPDATE: RE: Bais-Din arbitration agreements-שטרי בירורין





Note: Arbitration agreements are for the sole purpose that the parties will adhere to the outcome....

It is not to include any protections for the Arbitrators, if they make a mistake, etc.

Tuesday, May 09, 2023

Monday, May 08, 2023

Kosher.chat Vs Chat GP.AI- absolutely no comparison

 Kosher.chat is for show and tell at this point; they hopefully will improve.

Update-Metro-west (NJ) a Kashrus Organization;

AKO et al, checked out the MetroWest hashgocha and decided the Administrator must go. They replaced him with a different Administrator who does the food service at the OK Labs.

He was the OK's RC in charge and responsible for the "Manalapan Kosher Chinese Restaurant", when it was discovered that they were serving treifos.

The fact that he receives a paycheck from MetroWest for doing nothing of substance, is that in itself an improvement in the kashrus? One should ask that question from the administration of AKO.