Advice
on Responding to a Restraining Order
Unfortunately
many women are receiving bad advice from therapists, attorneys and Pseudo
Rabbonim who know nothing about Halachah. Their only interest is to pander their
client and keep them satisfied. They will never advise their client to do the
proper thing according to Halacha, when the client will not be happy with this
advice.
The result has been a large increase in the issuance of RO’s to Yeshiva Leit. The proper response is to go to Bais Din and request that they commence proceedings to render the sender of the RO a מורדת. If the Bais Din sees that there is no justification for the RO and the issuer does not retract they will commence with the proceedings. The details of what Bais Din has to do are described in Even HaEzer Siman 77.
The result has been a large increase in the issuance of RO’s to Yeshiva Leit. The proper response is to go to Bais Din and request that they commence proceedings to render the sender of the RO a מורדת. If the Bais Din sees that there is no justification for the RO and the issuer does not retract they will commence with the proceedings. The details of what Bais Din has to do are described in Even HaEzer Siman 77.
As
more women get declared a מורדת the
reputation of the advisors will deteriorate since we can now quantify that they
are giving bad advice and it is producing negative consequences to their
clients.
A second benefit is that after the proceedings are finalized there are financial advantages such as no KESUBAH (see Siman 77 for more details)
A third benefit is after 12 months you can give a GET on your terms, and remarry according to most Poskim without a HETER MEIOH RABBONUM if she refuses to accept the GET (see Siman 77 for more details).
A fourth benefit is public relations “He left her because she was a מורדת sounds better than “she threw him out”.
I
hope and encourage anyone who has received a RO to go forward with this advice
and may הקב"ה give you ס"ד to
end
these issues with Shalom.
TOSHAV
MONSEY
toshav@optimum.net
***************************************************************************
Lakewood- שלום בית
It's all the buck$$$$$$ they want,
the more misery they cause, there are more $$$$.
The kids, the family, etc. it's all dollars.
It's אסור to go to
The Lakewood (100+)
It's not as bad you you think, "It's much worse".
R-i-s-h-u-s is too mild of a description!
We would appreciate the names of the Lakewood Therapists, in order to post them.
The head of a mental health organization related that any expert therapist today has stopped taking insurance of any kind. The ones taking insurance are shvache maysos. (There is a separate problem that he couldn't address probably because he is afraid of a backlash but the expert therapists are driven by greed. There is no other segment of medical professionals where all the experts refuse to take insurance).
So here is what happened in one case with a shlemiel who took insurance who also happens to be a musmach from some kind of yeshiva. He was pushing the husband to divorce the wife. And even though he has a more advanced degree & training in medications, he completely missed the boat that the hormones in the birth control she was taking was making her meshuga.
Boruch Hashem multiple neshomos including the kids were saved when it was determined by another doctor that the birth control was making her nuts before the shlemiel therapist destroyed a gantz mishpocho over nothing.
Conclusion: Stay far away from Marriage therapi$t$, Rabbonim.
see http://www.bhol.co.il/forums/topic.asp?cat_id=4&topic_id=3120865&forum_id=771
Coaching vs. Therapy
A
common misconception is that coaching is the same as therapy, when in fact they
are quite different. Therapy is intended to help people recover from emotional
or other psychological disorders such as depression or anxiety. Coaching, on
the other hand, is intended to help normal, healthy individuals achieve
personal goals such as increased happiness, weight loss, improved work-life
balance. etc.
The
table below shows a quick side-by-side comparison of coaching vs. therapy
Coaching and Therapy
Coaching
|
Therapy
|
Client is emotionally
and psychologically healthy
|
Client is emotionally
unwell and in needs healing
|
Focuses on the present
and future
|
Focuses on dealing with
the past
|
Driven by goals and
taking action
|
Driven by unresolved
issues and feelings
|
Works toward a higher
level of functioning
|
Works to achieve
understanding and emotional healing
|
Results-based and
focuses on exploring solutions
|
Explores the root of
problems and offers explanation
|
Asks, “Where would you
like to be and how can you get there?”
|
Asks, “How did that
make you feel?”
|
Acts on information
|
Absorbs information
|
Done over the phone,
internet or in person
|
Done in an office
setting
|
Coach and client
collaborate on solutions
|
Therapist is the
‘expert’
|
Contact between
sessions expected (accountability and wins)
|
Contact between
sessions for crisis and difficulties only
|
104 comments:
A Life coach may be the real solution.
Are you referring to the therapist who is suddenly moving to Eretz Yisroel?
A lot of the Rabonim in town including Reb Yehuda Jacobs feel it is the explosion of under qualified Therapists who are destroying marriages especially the women therapists. There are also the Therapists for free in Chemed & LCSC that are disasters with minimal experience and training. Almost all of the Therapists have their own issues & they are busy dealing with other people. Any one with Shalom Bayis issues should see a Rav with experience in this field before going to a Therapist.
Eighty percent of Gittin in Lakewood now involve restraining orders. Yungerliet are being arrested and Frisked in the Ocean County family court in Toms river these serious shaylos of Arkous and Messira are being paskened by Female therapists and young knocker Askanim
The Therapists and their Rabonim are creating havoc out of marriages that can be guided in the right direction.
The head of a mental health organizatzia told me that any expert therapist today has stopped taking insurance of any kind. The ones taking insurance are shvache maysos. (There is a separate problem that he couldn't address probably because he is afraid of a backlash but the expert therapists are driven by greed. There is no other segment of medical professionals where all the experts refuse to take insurance).
So here is what happened in one case with a shlemiel who took insurance who also happens to be a musmach from some kind of yeshiva. He was pushing the husband to divorce the wife. And even though he has a more advanced degree & training in medications, he completely missed the boat that the hormones in the birth control she was taking was making her meshuga. Boruch Hashem multiple neshomos including the kids were saved when it was determined by another doctor that the birth control was making her nuts before the shlemiel therapist destroyed a gantz mishpocho over nothing.
The reason why Frum women started taking out restraining orders on their Husbands is because they are advised to do so by their attorneys and these Feminist Therapists , as with a restraining order a women can throw her Husband out of the Home, take possession of all assets and get full custody of the children especially if the Husband gets arrested on a restraining order violation
Well I can tell u one thing iz not to go that old man with the white. Beard that messes up every. One HamYvinyavin
I do not understand
Anyone who works for the LRRC or whatever it is called is getting paid so little that they are so shvach because anyone decent can charge and go on his own
Rav Simcha Bunim Cohen said about these isuues , That we have Gedolim in Klal Yisroel however we do not have Manhigim anymore
thw problem today iz that every one screaming im gadol hador listen to me
They play the restraining order game specifically on yungerliet because they figure they have no money to fight the restraining order in court. A faker askan told this cheshbon to a lady. She listened and got a restraining order on the husband. The husband came to the sane Asian not knowing that he advised the wife. The askan told him that it would cost so much money to fight the restraining order and therefore he should sign a civil agreement giving the wife the house. The youngerman called his bluff and fought it in court. It's two years later and they are still fighting in court and the wife's family who were assured that it would end with a civil agreement now had tens if thousands of dollars in level bills. The askan messed up everyone big time. The wife's family goes around collecting for the legal bills taking peoples maaser money. What a waste if yiddeshe money all because a bully askan thought he can intimidate and manipulate the husband. I think this askan owes the lawyer bills to both sides. The askans name is.....
Wow, R' Yudel really has a roundtable on the blog of the real experts! Because this BIG Dokter really hits the nail on the head. I went through a heimishe recommended list of therapists and the top ones only took cash. Some fake wannabe "top" ones also only took cash. One of the wannabes has a whole shpiel that he blames, I mean says besheim an adam gadol that he should tell the clients where to put the money in order he should not let anyone hand him the money.
I wonder how he asked the shayla? Maybe he asked: I feel guilty being greedy so what can I do rebbi to somewhat alleviate my guilt?
Nu what's his name?
I would have to agree that there are many under qualified therapist in Lakewood. However there are a handful of very qualified therapist some that don't even take money from clients that can't afford it or the minimum amount. I don't think it is fair to make a blanket statement about all therapists. Secondly most of you hear only one side of a story and don't know the complete truth yet decide that you are competent and qualified to decide the therapist is wrong and you know which side is right. I also don't understand why you all claim yungeliet get thrown out of homes and dragged into arkaos. There are several cases pending right now where yungeliet went to arkaos and threw their wives out if the home. One even claims he got a heter from the famous Shalom!
There are many medications which cause unnatural behavior. Steroids have long been known to cause manic symptoms. Google "steroid induced psychosis" and learn more about this.
For once i find myself agreeing with the blog. There may be therapists who can be helpful but as a rule they seek to maximize their own enrichment and are rarely the answer. This includes many Psychologists.
Best off going to a rov who can recommend a good Psychiatrist.
Proportionately its more that the men are tossed out of their homes. Do your research. Oh so you agree that only hearing 1 side of the story is not enough and dont know the complete truth etc.. but this is exactly the point here were therapists askanim and in some cases even rabbonim only listen to one side usually the wife and then act upon that info.
Do your research (do a google search on restraining orders) you will see it is extremely rare for a man to obtain a restraining order against a Women the man would have to come into court crying and shaking like a baby that his wife threatened him with a Loaded AK-47 Before the Judges would even contemplate granting hima restraining order
Howevwer when it comes to a Women the courts hand them out Like free Loly Pops all she needs to say is she feels Harrased or scared or he said this to me or Followed me and the courts automatically give her a Restraining order against her Spouse
90% of restraining orders handed out in Family court are for Women against their Husbands not the other way around
Life Coaches? Ridiculous. Untrained and uneducated fools with no legal or professional ethics board or court to keep them in check. If you don't trust a licensed therapist - thast's your business. But if you trust a life coach, you are in 10 times deeper trouble.
A therapist who violates ethics can be at least be sued for $$$ or possibly face jail time. A Life Coach - gornisht.
Just make shure. Weinberger not back in service he the cause of many many problems. Big time
Why does Lakewood have so many problems
Lakewood has so many problems because The Yeshiva is in the Business of running a Yeshiva not a Town so when ever there is the slightest problem instead of analyzing the issue and dealing with it they just tell the other party to go to call the Police and go to Court. Basically the Hamon Am in Lakewood are seen as a bunch of Disposable cups . We will use you when we need you for our own Benifit Money Kovod etc. as soon as we feel you are a Disturbance out you go.
How true.
Kovod kovod kovod that's the problem. Every one in Lakewood follow the other person stop it look at yourself not him and yeneh and yenteh yenteh enough with the garbage the bag iz gonna platz
Correction: The Hamon Am in Lakewood are seen as a Bunch of Disposable Plastic cups , not Styrofoam As Styrofoam cups are to expansive
A friend sent me to this site! Wow after reading this I begin understand why he keeps telling me I made the right decision by moving to EY so many years ago. A bunch of crazies put his son on medication and its destroying the poor kids life. Enough with therapists shrinks and their labels add adhd etc and their disgusting tactics learned from the general public like issuing restraining orders.... may hashem be with you as you fight the evil in your midst.
The Solution to these issues is to use a Life Coach.
Michal Schnitzler is one of the terrrorists! The rabonim should shut her down!! Oh Wait - i forgot, the Rabanim are also part of the problem.
Almost all the therapists are worthless but there are a few good ones, Chaim Horrowitz is one of them. He saved my marrige. He isn't cheap but it's a lot cheaper than what a divorce would of cost me.
Are you out of your mind??
You could fill a stadium with the marriages she has saved
There's something very wrong with someone who's obsessed with eating worms but has no problem spewing loshon hora and rechilus with that same mouth.
Please remove the previous comment or I will have to take legal action.
Who is LCSC
Some Lakewood Terapists AKA.......
LCSC
Kawbelblume
Kokis
Joselit
Rotberfg
Blanka Klein
A. Lerner
Jarasalowitz
Schnitzler
taboul
fish
etc
It's no coincidence that most of these names are female therapists. Some guys just can't fathom the thought of a female telling them what to do. They're used to being the boss at home and the thought of having to be kind to their wives is "feminism".
I'm sorry but you get what's coming to you.
Much as I hate therapist I happen to know one of therapists mentioned on the list above and can attest that she is a tremendous Tzadeis. Usually however a therapist and a tzadikis are a contradiction in terms...
I have experience with all of the well known therapists here in Lakewood Chaim Horowitz is the only one that I have found to have the wisdom to get at the truth and the scruples to say the truth without regard for his income
Some of these therapist have miserable marriages they take out their frustration by breaking up other marriages. Chazal say nashm daatan kalos. They should not be in this proffesion.
If u want the oilam to trust your assessment ,why don't you tell us who u are? Otherwise we will just assume you are an advertisesemnt.
That is very funny.
Do you happen to know how many marriages they've saved?
Go call Rav Brudny and others...that rely on some of these "nashim". You might be surprised.
You clearly need help.
How could it be an advertisement if you don't know who he is???????
ערבך ערבא צריך.....
and S.M. Katz providing dirty shmatas for the therapists to continue telling the veiber to say they are still ossur. All in the mushchasim methods, in the name of toirah. You are a bunch of mushchasim sheh bi mushchasim. yous all belong in shoil tachtis, never to rise.
If the husbands problem is that he never had a mother figure in his life, a woman therapist is in order.
Is anyone sacred in your eyes?
Aside for Berish.
Finkel is a heter machine for restraining orders
The establishment will keep quiet on this matter to protect a few while letting this garbage go on.
Bottom line is Therapists usually ruin the marriage, the kids, etc and prospects of shalom bayis is out the window.
Life coaches will usually be able to move it along in a positive fashion and restore the shalom bayis. Save the children and save from breakups.
This information was gathered be people in the know.
Therapists pleas make yourselves your parnossah from something more positive and not have to break up families.
Some bitachon is in order.
It's time to tell the establishment (whomever they think they are) that they are very much at fault as well.
Reb Yitzchak Abadi single handedly dealt with these situations and was able to save most of them.
The establishment had to ostracize him because he was not politically correct.Oops!
Chevra-who was the Therapist by the woman that had her husband arrested in front of the children?
She first made a churban of her own family, then she continues in taking more with her. MISERY LIKES COMPANY.
Then why does his son Chaim send people to therapists on your list?
Paid for by The Life Coach Alliance of America
BTW- A teacher or melamed can't get a teaching position only if you do a model lesson with "torah umesorah" model?
That's all dollars to them.
We are in Lakewood, go to the midwest with you controlling interests and you interest in ripping off.
Oh that therapist?, that's the protege ......of Finkel & Forscheimer.
Everything is falling into place.
The Brisker Rav said "Gehenom is big enough for all of them".
https://www.chemedhealth.org/dep-behavioral.php
its all about gelt gelt gelt
My eisheth chayil and I were thuffering-no thimcath hachayim, no shalom bayith.A Very Alter Mirrer told uth that for therapy-we muth go to a thpeech therapith. What an eitzah tova!!!We are now able to communicate with each other-Great Success!
Binyamin segall of Segall therapeutics is a Gottman trained therapist. Now that's a league of itself.
A newly married couple should trained in how to live happily. Gpttman trained have the methods.
the problem is that the men think that the wives have the problem and they are tzadikim. When the therepsits tell them that the man has issues thathe must work on and correct he b;ames the therepists for telling him the truth. And yes the truth hurts sometimes so instead of being stuck up that you always have to be right go and look in the mirror and be man enough to admit that you have been treating your wife like garbage and that you must corret the situation and work intensly on your issues. But if you aren't going to admit and work on your self why should your wife have to live with all of that abuse
http://www.bhol.co.il/forums/topic.asp?cat_id=4&topic_id=3120865&forum_id=771
The oilam should be very cautious about Bentzion Kokis. He is extremely dangerous for anyone's Shalom bayis. He may have you sincerely believe that he's helping you out and trying to fix your Shalom bayis, but in truth its the other way around. So please don't let yourself be fooled and fall into his trap. He has done countless harm to families in Lakewood since they have offered him this position in BMG. Don't be fooled by him.
Foe shalom bayis, you must go to a speech therapist; for justice, you must go to Don Corleone.
This is how the female therapists encourage wives to look at their husband. THat same therapists who destroyed families and created countless live yesomim is defendinng her actions here, on Thu Aug 04, 12:34:00 AM 2016.
She writes "When the therapists tells them that the man has issues" שומו שמים!
The lady's therapists is telling her that the man has issues.
She continues that husbands should "admit that you have been treating your wife like garbage"
did she ever meat the husband did she ever talk to his Rebbi or Rov. or she is believing the wife who is from the נשים דעתן קלות, and telling the wife your husband is at fault and he is not working on himself.
These wives who feel like garbage and treat the husband without the minimum respect will complain that the husband is not treating her accordingly and she will feel like garbage.
I don't understand what you people are thinking when someone goes to a therapist and is helped they don't tell anyone only when things go awry it becomes public knowledge, so how do anyone of you know how many hundreds and thousands of people these therapists helped, imagine what the world would look without them!
If Finkel gives out Ro's how will a bais din help.
For the best and most toireh'dikeh sholom bayis you got to go to: DaasTorah.blog.
Those two ge'onim brothers are the only place to get real real help.
Lakewood must be a very sick town based on the amount of therapists.
ZEEV Rothschild is solely responsible for all of this.
Zeev advises all ladies to "create" situations where police can be called on husbands. His advice goes further, he encourages the wives "When the police come ask for a restraining order against your husband to get him out of the house"
Zeev walks around with his yeshivishe appearance Lange shmone esray foolling people.
He then advertises to the men who got thrown out of their homes (under his instruction)
"Come settle your divorce with me I am here for Sholom and get the case closed as fast as possible. Don,t hesitate, come to me, I will give you the best deal. I am a tzadik nistar who does everything lman hasholom. We don't want machlokes and anguish on the children. I will settle 123 and you will give/recieve a Get tomorrow"
THE TRuth
Zeev is working for one side only if you are % 100 sure that he is working for you check again to be sure. If you are still unsure you should know that ZEEV is KILLING you. Don't trust him you are not his first victim.
מבקש שכר כפנחס
Thanks to the Kaminetzkys all these methods of feminist terrorism & inducing mamzerus are a new "yeshivishe" style.
And who cares what Rav Brudny thinks when he signed the ridiculous letter with all the mindless Philly zombies to support the Kaminetzky corruption for Tamar Epstein.
Even worse for Lakewood is the backing of Dodelson with her Conservative movement feminist coaches. Very "nice" example for the oylam.
YU's ORA had their dirty hands in both these tragedies.
The spineless Agudah sits back & does nothing just like R' Chaim Brisker ztl warned they would one day be daas baal habatim instead of daas Torah.
Wed Nov 16, 11:39:00 AM 2016
And this comment is a picture perfect example of 'daas baal habatim'.
Brisk style par excellence.
You forgot to mention the Flatbush Feminist from Gvul Yavetz who encourages every Women to Obtain a Restraining Order against their Husband and have them Arrested
Thank you Philly yeshiva clone Thu Nov 17, 05:26:00 PM 2016
Yes, Rabbeinu Sholom
Yes, Rabbeinu Shmuel
The entire oylam Hatayreh is against us but we are the only ones who are "right"!
And we will continue to speak out both sides of our mouths. We tell the black hat crowd that we do not support Tamar creating mamzerim while admitting to the more moderner that we enthusiastically encourage all the illegitimate offspring she can mach. The more the merrier! Ain hamossif goreya!cc
www.amazon.com/First-Kill-All-Marriage-Counselors/dp/1940363861/ref=ya_st_pd_dx_gr_1?ie=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1940363861&pd_rd_r=A3E7165J6HH7E23TN3YA&pd_rd_w=vUuVC&pd_rd_wg=LOA7Y&psc=1&refRID=A3E7165J6HH7E23TN3YA
Just to remind the baleh baate'sheh oilom (The oilom Hatayrah already knows) that 'doh by oonz' we only see emes,talk emes, hear emes, think emes, do emes, live emes, breathe emes, hachoonis emes, and of course learn only emes. (Money part is up for debate but only a EMES DEBATE).
Thank you Fri Nov 18, 10:53:00 AM 2016
Your sore loser friend at daastorah blog seems to differ with you.
Gabbi Finkel, Shmuly Tendler, Zeev Rothchild, and the rest of the choshuve establishment are feminist who have one goal in mind. They want to promote women and make all men powerless.
The big question is do they all have the same motives?
The Litvishe Rabonim are in competition with the Modern Orthodox as to who is more Pro Feminist. It looks like the Litvishe are winning the contest
By the modern it no contest.
By the Litvishe its a big contest.
'mayim genoovim....'
The Litvishe Raboim that have German origin ZR GF SMK YEF are definitely
Oh please
Plenty of chassidishe ra bonim in Brooklyn & Monsey have taken the feminist approach. Most may have been primarily motivated by gelt but it was the same approach al kol ponim.
a Litvishe Rov who wants to make a name for himself has a quick route now. No need to spend Years of Learning and Growth all you need do is adopt Feminest View points and presto you now are a Big Rabbi and Askan and worthy to sit on the Dais
"No need to spend Years of Learning and Growth all you need do is adopt Feminest View points and presto you now are a Big Rabbi and Askan and worthy to sit on the Dais"
That's what Gimpel Wolmark THOUGHT he was doing but after the FBI raids nothing could save him, not even Wolfson's money or Brafman's big mouth.
Now let him sit on the dais at Otisville. There is an open spot now that Pinter was paroled again
Wolmark got saved plenty by the Wolf's $$ and the Ben's Dinging. He only got 4 (or was it 5) Years instead of 25 to life.
Amazing a freind sent this website to me he tells me not to move to lakewood the place is a churban. Wow I cannot believe this I may end up moving there but I now know to be very careful
One terrorist to another right here....
At least Kokis is being taken to the curb with the rest of the trash onboarded by the ex-CEO
.... she was a מורדת sounds better than “she threw him out”.....
Right. It sure sounds better but coming from this site people will believe that as they believe everything else from this site.
The whole Shalom bays issue started when the wife stopped buying Qveens Vaad stuff and the molestor husband kept bringing it into the house.
the therapist just should just of suggested to buy buy bloomies which has no hashgacha thus no kosher issues.
But then the couple would not of returned for more therapy thus the therapist suggested going to the one and only genuine bais din in Lakewood . That's when trouble started.
The none therapy solution would be to take out your wife every Friday for free toiamehoo - rain or shine or snow - But then CCRC would really be ready for a bridge so now it became a issue of pikooach nefooshes thats where they sent you know who to feel out all the gedolim in Israel and see whom to go to..
The OU mashgiach in Queens needs to clarify his rant:
"the wife stopped buying Qveens Vaad stuff and the molestor husband kept bringing it into the house"
Why did Mrs Bryks suddenly wake up to the facts that Queens Vaad stuff is woefully inadequate in kashrus standards?
"thus the therapist suggested ... now it became a issue of pikooach nefooshes"
Is that takka what Mrs. M held when you were sneaking in the back for your mental health sessions on Curzon? You really 'raise the bar' in seeking out therapists as there is no equivalent in Agudah Fresser Land to Moreinu Yaakov Rosenheim's a tochter!
We all go to the therapists to encourage them to support BoomBoomies so that they can have the mitzvah of feeding a needy soul with some free fress.
This blog post is all mixed up, up is down and down is up
to the therapists and their sick clients, stright lokks up is down and down is up, you are perhaps beyond repair, R"L
you are perhaps beyond repair, R"L
Sounds like CCRC
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1A0-RSkSLk9pXXT2dHrMIYIioGtOmMWlj/view?usp=drivesdk
So just recommend the good ones and a Guttenberg tuhg
I think it's more don't listen to him he's not a "real" gadol
Are we smelling the coffee in Lakewood or in Queens?
In Lakewood you smell the Orthodox Coffee to get up for the 11:30 Shachris.
In Queens you smell the Reform coffee to go to the ketzalach in "you know who's" store.
https://drsorotzkin.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/eng-honoring-abusive-parents.pdf
https://www.kikar.co.il/yeshiva-world/rxkw4y
Are we talking about Sholom Bais ? Or is it Bais Sholom we’re talking about here ??
You mean Bais Sholom guys have or do not have Sholom Bais issues.
Thus, they need a coach to make Sholom ?or a coach to make Bais ?
Maybe some therapist can get them to Sholom so they stay in the Bais or he’ll
make the Bais so there can be Sholom.
The askan didn't mess up big time.
He's making big bucks in fees the wife's family is stuck paying.
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