An Email re: Public letter to all

 Subject: Urgent: It's Time to Face Reality — and Act

Dear Rabbanim, Community Leaders, Mechanchim, and Fellow Yidden,

This is not a rant. This is our reality. Thousands of families in Klal Yisrael are drowning financially and emotionally — and we can no longer afford to stay silent.

We built an incredible post-war Torah world. It lifted generations and rebuilt what was lost. But today, that very system is crushing many of us. We need to take real, responsible action.

What can we do? A few necessary steps:

1. Financial Training – Every family should take financial education courses (such as through the OU). Basic financial literacy must become standard.

2. Live Within Our Means – We must stop pretending we can afford luxuries. Fancy weddings, designer shopping, and unnecessary spending are hurting us.

3. Responsible Tzedakah – Tzedakah should go to those making an effort to help themselves. No $12,000 chasuna checks for those buying diamond rings or ignoring budgeting programs.

4. No Party Planners, No vorts (just a li'chaim), No catered Sheva Brochos.

5. Smaller weddings- no real flowers, one piece band, etc.

6. Shop Smart – Yes, it may be less convenient, but shopping smarter can save 30–50%. It’s worth it.

7. Close Overseas Seminaries – It’s an unsustainable luxury. Let’s be honest.

8. Buchurim should not go to Eretz Yisroel before getting married.

9. Job Shidduchim – Each shul should designate two members to connect job seekers with opportunities, and coordinate with others.

10. Expand to Affordable Areas – Communities must grow beyond current borders. Yeshivos should lead this by planting yungerleit in out-of-town areas to make them viable.

11. Daven for Siyata D’Shmaya – None of this can succeed without tefillah.

12. All Kolel couples should go after the wedding to an out of town kolel for 4-5 years. 

But that’s not enough. We need to re-examine the entire path we’re pushing our sons toward.

Today, nearly every boy is expected to learn in yeshiva and kollel indefinitely — whether or not it suits him. The pressure starts in 6th grade. If he isn’t a future gadol, he's seen as a disappointment.

We’ve created a system where:

• Parents are financially burdened for decades.

• Young couples are dependent on family and communal support.

• Boys delay life planning — no parnassah path, no financial preparation.

• Marriage is entered with no readiness for real-world responsibility.

This is not sustainable. It’s not how Klal Yisrael always lived.

Even Gedolim of the past often worked. Torah and parnassah were partners, not enemies. Let’s bring that back.

We must begin encouraging:

• Earlier marriage (18–20) for many boys.

• Entry into the workforce with dignity.

• A model where the top learners continue long-term, and others build Torah lives with work and avodas Hashem.

It is honorable to be a working baal habayis who learns daily, gives generously, and raises ehrliche children. That must once again become the norm.

Our current path is no longer working. Let’s stop pretending.

We need leadership. We need honesty. And we need the courage to do what’s right — not what’s popular.

With sincerity and love for Torah and Am Yisrael,
A Yid who sees what’s coming