Friday, June 09, 2017

An Email "To Rabbi Yehuda Shain"

No clue as to why I am writing this to you but something pushed me to write this letter and send it to you.

I grew up in Boro Park and come from a great religious family I went to 2 great yeshivas and my parents are seriously great true people as well as my 2 sisters and brothers.

I was raised with no TV, no video, no magazines, the most id hear about the outside world would be a small amount of radio.

When I was approx. 12 years old I really started to feel the urge to leave the whole religion, seriously I would cry and wonder what is wrong with me, I would wonder what's pushing me to do bad things, and when I spoke to my close friend about it right before my bar mitzvah he told me he had the same feelings.

Now I started thinking its normal and even the Mashgiach told me its normal but what I didn’t get is why could I not win the inner fight, why was I so weak, why even with the support of my parents my family my friends I just couldn’t help myself and I got worse and worse.

By age 16 I started trimming my beard something that was a serious NO NO, the side curls I had got shorter monthly, at one point it was 3 inches past shoulder length.

A month after my 16th birthday I went to Israel with the supervision of my aunt and uncle and while we where there he decided to make an appointment with a Mikubul Rabbi Yitzchuk Kadiri.

I saw him in his private office full of holy books and I started crying and told him my problem, I explained to him I want to be a good Jew, I want to follow the Jewish laws, I want to be just like my parents my grandparents etc. but I just can’t, I try so hard but its like I feel powerless, he asked me multiple times if I am careful about kashruth, If I am careful about what I eat and how I eat, I said yeah.

At the time I ate either at home my mother would cook or we would every other week maybe order from a local restaurant or a pizza store here and there, He spoke for 10 minutes non stop about the importance of being careful what you eat, I don’t remember exactly what he told me because to be honest I was thinking to myself this guy is full of it, I mean tell me to stop looking at women clothing catalogs we would get in the mail, tell me to stop listening to bad radio stations late night but please don’t tell me “keep kosher” and “watch what I eat”.

Seriously all these years went by and I never even thought about my meeting with Rabbi kaduri.

Today I don’t keep anything no kosher no nothing, I don’t look Jewish and don’t keep the holidays, I am not happy about it at all.

The class that I was in approx 12 other kids turned out just like me and my situation of turning complete off the way (derech) has unfortunately become very very common.

A few days ago im listening to a interview (4th interview) you did regarding the recent kashrus situation in the Jewish community, and you threw in some words that to many people wouldn’t mean much but to me it meant so much, you said “and then they wonder why the kids go off “le-tarbas rue” (off the way)”.
Hearing you say this even thou you said those words rather quick in the interview just threw an image of my head of Rabbi kadiri stressing for over 10 minutes to me about being careful what I eat.

Yes I am to blame for my actions but seriously I feel the food that I ate in Yeshivah growing up was not kosher like it should be, the yeshivah just cares about money and that’s where I ate most of my meals too, and that in turn didn’t give me the proper strength to fight off the bad thought and ways.

For the sake of those kids who are still innocent and for the sake of the true people who just want to eat kosher food continue the fight and expose the liars who will do anything for money.

There is no doubt in my head that the food issue is in part what is contributing to the huge increase of kids that go off the way.
Yeah I'm sure the internet and the society as a whole don’t help, but please myself and the so many others in my class and others I know had no internet, what we did have is food that wasn't made for a kid that wants to be a strong Jew.

I call the hotline or as Rabbi Goldman calls it the cold line every few weeks I grew up speaking Yiddish 99% of the day even thou I don’t talk with my family that much because of the huge amount of friends I have just like me we I still speak lots of Yiddish maybe I shouldn’t.

This chol hamoyed sukkus I was at a rest stop in Connecticut at a McDonalds I see 4 yeshivah bouchrim there eating inside they still have the curls the clothing everything, so I walk up to them (they have no clue im jewish or anything) and I ask them politely why is it that my co-worker wont eat from m'cdonalds he says Jews can't eat it and here I see they are eating, they started laughing and saying how its all the same Jews just charge more money for non kosher meat because they add a little sticker they told me the story about finkle and claimed almost everything is corrupt.

I mean seeing hassidic people in nightclubs in these days is the norm, wouldn’t surprise me if one of those guys I see in the clubs with the long beared and side curls if for a living he gives “hechshers”.

My grandmother was a WWII survivor I remember going with her as a young boy a few times to the butcher he sometimes shechted the chicken right there she would take it home and make it kosher herself etc a long very tedious process, but I would do all that work today myself not to be where I am today spiritually.

I hope one day to be the nice Jewish boy I was once.


Anonymous said...

The problem is that even people who eat only kosher also sometimes go off the deep derech.

Anonymous said...

So - what was the purpose of this?
What will you do for this kid? What have you ever done in Kiruv work?
Obviously, the approaches that were used in the past were not adequate. We have to have a new generation of teachers that have training in different aspects of human behavior, not just a kid who thinks that chinuch is a way to have a parnossa.

Anonymous said...

We know what their agendas are when troublemakers come on the blog to mock R' Yudel for making a big deal about kashrus.

They may as well also make fun of Rav Kadouri and the frierdik gedolim who say the same thing like the Aruch Hashulchan and the Pri Chodosh, that bad kashrus makes kids go bad.

Gut Moed said...

The kashrus at Chol Hamoed events is a disaster. Rabbonim should sign that no one should eat from them unless there is a hashgocho from an agency or rov of a kehillah who is willing to take achrayus.

Remember Yudelstake was mefarsem a few years ago on an event falsely advertising KJ hashgocho? It gets much worse than that.

This Sukkos a 'kiruv' yeshiva rented a large non-Jewish facility to host a community wide event. The facility still allowed outside goyim to pay to get in and when it was after public school hours they started blasting goyishe music instead of Yiddishe music at was advertised as an exclusively heimishe event in the spirit of Yom Tov.

The kiruv yeshiva was running a single concession for milchdik pizza & fleishdik burgers & hot dogs. It was mainly goyim working the food with the occasional Russian helping out, with or without a yarmulka. The workers were handling the food without gloves, handling multiple orders which means pizza & burgers - both davar cham & davar mefapaya - without washing hands or any other hefsek.

I believe that the oven for reheating the pizza & grill for cooking the meats may have very possibly been made treif so to say.

A musmach of a major yeshiva complained to a yeshivishe looking rabbi in charge of the kiruv yeshiva's event. He said thank you for bringing it to our attention - "I will look into it". We stood out there for a long time but the rabbi did not emerge to investigate.

There was also a petting zoo within 25 feet of the concession. Both the goyish & Jewish food workers were going & petting the shepselach & tzigelach and then just went back to the handling the food, again all without gloves. Not only is that filthy & disgusting but

Petting zoos are pools of bacteria & viruses that often cause major outbreaks of disease.

Anonymous said...

I witnessed this petting zoo next to the kashrus mix ups. A rebbitzen yelled at some chassidishe bochurim that were cruelly mistreating the goats. Then an adult wearing a staff badge came in the pen and did the same thing! A sickening display of tzaar baalei chaim. We had to leave early because everyone was hungry and it was klor we could not eat there.

Anonymous said...

If and i mean if the letter is true, believe me i have serious doubts, i feel bad for the kid but bottom line is, HE is responsible for himself. To blame it on others is childish and irresponsible.

Anonymous said...

Your head isnt deep enough in the sandbox. Stick in at least another 2 feet.

Barley Cholent with Cheek Meat said...

Not once in the letter does the writer blame anybody; on the contrary, he says straight out that he is responsible for his own actions.
He is just pointing out that he now realizes that R' Kaduri was right and that the problem still exists today.

Anonymous said...

This boy is obviously very sad and blaming his school for what he did because he is ashamed of himself and it's always eaiser to shift the blame.
In the old days ppl didn't go off because They ate school food , their teacher said something that hurt them or better yet bec they were molested.
Kids get away with everything these days. Stop being so nice and kids should pay the price for what they do! People are responsible for themselves!!