Bar Mitzvah, (50)
Vort, (50)
Kidush, (at home-40, Shul only mispalilim)
Wedding, (200 maximum)
Sheva Brochos (40)
Sholom Zochor (30)
Bris (35)
2- How elaborate should be permitted?
Bar Mitzvah (Shabbos- 2 types of bakery cake, cold drink, no hot foods, no herring) (during week
very basic meal no choices)
Vort, (only bakery cakes, no hot food, some salads, no sweet table)
Kidush, (2 types of bakery cake, no hot foods, no herring)
Wedding, (smorg, Women salads only, Men, 2 types of cake, potato kugel)
Sheva Brochos-(not catered, non elaborate, no themes)
Sholom Zochor- (Arbis, Basic bakery cake, beer, no hard liquor at all, cold drinks)
Bris - (Bagels/rolls, basic bakery cake, coffee, no lox, no sable, etc. Limited cold drinks, no orange juice)
3- Only Bakery cakes or fancy cakes within ($ 25.00 ) amount
Bar Mitzvah- (only bakery cakes, no fancy cakes at all, 1 Bar-Mitzvah cake)
Vort, (Salads, plain bakery cakes cookies, fruit, up-to 2 Mazel Tov cakes
Kidush, (only 2 types of bakery cakes, no fancy cakes)
Wedding, (only bakery cakes, 2 fancier cakes, not tier cakes or very fancy wedding cakes)
Sheva Brochos- (bakery cakes, cookies)
Sholom Zochor- (bakery cakes, no cookies)
Bris- Bakery cakes, no donuts, Danishes, etc.)
4- Liquor- 1-2 bottles of up to $15.00 @, or some other limit?
Bar Mitzvah- (2)
Vort, (2)
Kidush, (2)
Wedding, (3)
Sheva Brochos (2)
Sholom Zochor (0)
Bris (1)
5- Vienese Table- Yes / No ?
Bar Mitzvah- NO)
Vort, (No)
Kidush, (No)
Wedding, (NO)
Sheva Brochos (NO)
Sholom Zochor (NO)
Bris (NO)
6 - Elaborate Shmorg, Kidush, etc. with hot food.
Bar Mitzvah (NO)
Vort, (NO)
Kidush, (NO)
Wedding, (NO)
Sheva Brochos (NO)
Sholom Zochor (NO)
Bris (NO)
7- Shmorg / Kidush- Only salads by women side, basic bakery cake by men side.
Bar Mitzvah
Vort,
Vort,
Kidush,
Wedding,
Sheva Brochos
Sholom Zochor
Bris
8- No party planners.
Bar Mitzvah (NO)
Vort, (NO)
Kidush, (NA)
Wedding, (NO)
Sheva Brochos (NO
Sholom Zochor (NA)
Bris (NO)
9- Should we Allow Kidush clubs or hard liquor in Shuls or in private homes?
Bar Mitzvah (NO)
Vort, (NO)
Kidush, (NO)
Wedding, (NO)
Sheva Brochos (NO)
Sholom Zochor (NO
Bris (NO)
10- Limit on how many piece band
Bar Mitzvah- (1)
Vort, (0)
Vort, (0)
Wedding, (1)
Sheva Brochos (0)
11- Flowers- Only a vase per table.
Bar Mitzvah (VASES only)
Vort, (2-3 vases)
Kidush, (0)
Wedding, (vase on women's tables)
Sheva Brochos- (2-3 vases)
Sholom Zochor (0)
12- Loudness of music not to exceed 70 Decibels.
13- The gifts between Choson / Kalah should be toned down
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Of Course the Rabbonim, Shul Rabbonim, Roshei Yeshiva, Misader Kedushin, etc. will be in a position to enforce the Standards.
* * * * * * * * * *
PS A few weeks go a choson asked Reb Dovid Soleveitchik, Shlita if he should push off the chasunah till the virus issue is over?
Reb Dovid responded, when we made chasunahs in the past generations, we only had the immediate family, etc. 25-30 people and the Simcha was a real Simcha.
Make it a real Simcha, with a few people, and don't push it off, it will be a real Simcha.
* * * * * * * * * *
When the Gerrer Rebbeh established a maximum price the Gerrer chasdim may pay for an apartment in Eretz Yisroel,
A big Gvir came to the Rebbeh and said the Rebbeh knows I'm a very wealthy person and I want to buy expensive apartments for my family.
The Gerrer Rebbeh said if you are that rich?, buy yourself a different Rebbeh.
When the Gerrer Rebbeh established a maximum price the Gerrer chasdim may pay for an apartment in Eretz Yisroel,
A big Gvir came to the Rebbeh and said the Rebbeh knows I'm a very wealthy person and I want to buy expensive apartments for my family.
The Gerrer Rebbeh said if you are that rich?, buy yourself a different Rebbeh.
16 comments:
No reason for a Band or Liquor at any Bar Mitzvah.
No reason for salads at a vort.
No reason to ‘hang around’ at a vort. Say Mazel Tov and leave. With a limit of 50 people make room for the next well wisher.
What’s about ‘weekend’ Bar Mitzvah or shevah Brochos ( for 50 people only, of course)?
Also why bagels at a bris? Rolls should suffice especially with no lox?
"Of Course the Rabbonim, Shul Rabbonim, Roshei Yeshiva, Misader Kedushin, etc. will be in a position to enforce the Standards".
These words I feel are not strong enough. I feel that the first step to these worthwhile limitation should be from the Rabbonim, Shul Rabbonim, Roshei Yeshiva, Misader Kedushin,stating clearly that they won't precipitate at any chasunah vort or bar mitzvah, regardless of who is making it unless it adheres to all the conditions put upon the whole Klall Yisroel, The first move is theirs........ Let them take the first step and we will all follow, NO EXCEPTIONS
Many people have gotten sick at simchos from salads. The caterers often put them out hours before guests show up. And if they have mayo based dressing or any other kind of egg ingredient, what do you think happens when left that long outside the fridge?
What should Rabbonim follow, a blank assurance they'll keep it to what standard?
Now, with some basic standards, the Rabbonim, etc. can take the position, "If you follow A-Z, I'll be there, otherwise don't expect me to attend".
Two more to add to the list:
1) Vacht Nacht.
2) Upsheren.
Yes, yes, I was in major trouble for not showing up to a cousin's child's Upsheren as I didn't realize that it was a big affair.
I agree with most or all of the above suggestions and would like to see if I can implement them, בע"ה.
My issue with all the takonos is that it does not cut to the root of the issue. We need more of the stories that a poster mentioned of Rav Dovid Soloveichik. We need our rabbeim to live this type of life and model it to us. Thankfully, many of our rabbeim do do this. But it seems to be able to use more focus and concentrated effort.
On the other hand, why should someone whom the רבונו של עולם blessed with money not be able to make a simcha according to his means? Let him do his thing. By the same token, let the Yeshiva-Maan and the Ben Torah have a real, personal and intimate simcha in an intimate setting. Let the Yeshiva-Maan influence through his actions and true simcha Shel mitzvah!
Maybe at some homemade catering like in the Metro... area, where there is no Kosher food to be bought within miles, they have people get sick at every event. If they serve leftovers and or non properly frozen stuff you would not expect anything else. It’s surprising though that they still keep on fressing at each and every homemade event.
But the rest of the world where food is kosher as are the professional caterers there is no such issues.
When the Gerrer Rebbeh established a maximum price the Gerrer chasdim may pay for an apartment in Eretz Yisroel, A big Gvir came to the Rebbeh and said the Rebbeh knows I'm a very wealthy person and I want to buy expensive apartments for my family.
The Gerrer Rebbeh said if you are that rich?, buy yourself a different Rebbeh.
It's just about impossible to imagine the story with the Gerer Rebbe being true. He would go to war.......
Why the discrimination between women and men as for what to serve. Who says all women eat salads? Besides you are not yotzei with kiddush if you don't have mezonos.
That’s the point. If no one eats it’s even cheaper and the takanah goal accomplished.
Rav moshe kollel Hirsch slabodker rosh yeshiva and chaver moetzes gedolei hatorah when asked about pushing off Chasuna was inclined to push off due to violation of health dept regulations on making weddings resultant press release of of orthodox jews disregarding regulations and chilli hashem
If you drink 2 reviis of wine or grape juice you don't need mezonos. Look in m brura
עין הרע ואיבה לחברו
Are you going to make takonos on all midos tovos? If not, why are you singling this one out?
Whenever you make a takan that you do not have the proper ability to implement, or if you don't intend to implement it, then you will any and every takana.
In that case, is it tikun or is it kilkul?
About the Takana attempt....
I'm in. I'll abide by them myself.
But the issue is: Deh Michitten (Michitaynessteh).
They don't want it. (of course, They are not paying)
They really didn't say anything BUT I don't want to give a opportunity to talk or say anything. Sometimes not saying is worse then saying.
And even if they agree its only because they want to be polite (at this stage) but they really really want a big Shebang - But there is Takanahs - OK I agree Not SOOO big but small BIG.
Bottom line: It a 'Takkana sha'ein Rov HaTzibbur yecholim laamod' - (They won't sleep for many nights if they abide to them thinking to themselves 'what is the OTHER side thinking' - thinking about US, our family, out other mechitoonim, Our Reletives - about our Community, our rabboonim, our Chsides .....no sleep is the bottom line).
Post a Comment