Monday, May 29, 2023

Marriage with a Narcissist may be difficult or rather impossible. It's important to deal with it, not ignore it.

      In psychology, narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.

      Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a more severe form of narcissism and is classified as a mental condition. People with NPD have an inflated sense of worth and deeply need others' attention and admiration. Still, they’re also likely to be unhappy and disappointed when not given the admiration they think they deserve. Their relationships are often troubled because they consider themselves superior to everyone around them.

A person with NPD may display the following characteristics:

Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration.

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it.

Exaggerate achievements and talents.

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty, or the perfect mate.

Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally remarkable people.

Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior.

Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations.

Take advantage of others to get what they want.

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.

Be envious of others and believe others envy them.

Behave arrogantly or haughtily, coming across as conceited, boastful, and pretentious.

      The causes of NPD aren't well-understood, but like most personality disorders, it's believed to result from a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Early life experiences, such as sensitive temperament, excessive pampering or criticism, trauma, and abuse, may also play a role.

      Regarding remedies and treatment, psychotherapy (talk therapy) is usually the first line of treatment. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can be beneficial, which helps individuals identify unhealthy, negative beliefs and behaviors and replace them with healthy, positive ones. Family therapy, group therapy, and couples therapy can also be helpful.

      Medications aren't typically used to treat NPD, but if the individual has other conditions, such as depression or anxiety, medication might be recommended.

      Living with NPD or being in a relationship with a person who has NPD can be very challenging. Self-care, setting boundaries, seeking support from trusted friends or family members, and professional help, such as therapy or support groups, can be beneficial.

     It's important to note that a qualified mental health professional should diagnose NPD, and the person with the disorder should also seek treatment from a professional. It's not something that someone can diagnose or treat on their own.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's a real problem, some serious marriages have been devastated and suffered physical abuse.

Anonymous said...

Bais Dins do not know how to realize it, nor do they know how to deal with it.

Yet more often the Bais Din actually will exasperate the problem, and give him his "entitlements".

Anonymous said...

So we are looking for a kosher narcissist counselor ? Is that the purpose of this post ??

Anonymous said...

A famous Rabbinical College's former CEO and its President was only one of many Narcissists in the Yeshivish Community..

Anonymous said...

her

Anonymous said...

"And give him" ? This malady is specific to men?

Anonymous said...

I am a narcissist.
Can you recommend someone good???
Who will pay the $5000?

Anonymous said...

One that is a Narcissist never thinks they are, and they will never admit it.

Therefore, you are a con.....

Anonymous said...

When friends realize that one is a Narcissist, they should realize that there must be abuse in his home, intervene asap and get them help before it's too late.

Anonymous said...

Was Henry Kissinger the meshumad a narcissist? I don't know, but one could tell when he's lying when his lips move.

Anonymous said...

The CEO President Emeritus of BMG was/is a narcissist.

Anonymous said...

EX- Ceo of bmg

Anonymous said...

“In psychology, narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.”

Sounds like some of my closest friends.

I'm not going to look in the mirror.

Anonymous said...

Nice - this will be the new basis for bittul kiddushin! Just imagine how many poor women R' Notta and his Philly friends could have helped with this.

Anonymous said...

Not a meshummad. Married a shiksa.

Anonymous said...

Dave Cohen the zaken mamra from Gvul Yavetz in Brooklyn beats all in being matir eishes ish and creating mamzarim r'l

Anonymous said...

Bs"d

Before sending someone's marriage off the cliff and/or creating gilui arayos and mamzeirus scandals via money-hungry psyco-therapists and/or modern "Beth-dins" (or maybe "Death-bins") see what Chaza"l say on the matter: "Said Rav Chisda, 'Immorality is to the house like mites in sesame; Aggression (i.e., inflated anger; obstinance) in the house is like mites in sesame. This is all [when it comes] from the woman, but [when it comes] from the man it is not as such." (Sotah 3:)

Any reader who feels in any way threatened by narcissism in themselves or others whom they're around should turn to PROPER TORAH SOURCES who are NOT AFRAID to expose their inquirer's faults and issues to them - the same way as a proper doctor would expose their patients' issues to them to CURE the problem, not merely sympathize and run away from it.

In addition - a PROPER TORAH SOURCE will never show any agreement or sympathize with any of their followers without insisting on hearing both parties simultaneously and in person.

Cohen Y said...


Judaism is very much for this.
The contrary.
They just need to

expand their self centeredness
to include their family social community & the whole world (even nature)
Not necessarily in that order

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you couldn’t get your Heter for a pile…..

Anonymous said...

On this site it seems that all “proper halachic sources” are either matir Mamz…. or stam oisvorfin. So please specify who the “Proper Rabbis” are.

Cohen Y said...

All great people-Jewish and otherwise-were narcissistic

They expanded to include a bigger world as part of themselves. Fortunately for us they didn't have therapists to ruin their resolve